Is it any surprise that food inspires me? While eating lunch, I was pondering another presentation that stuck with me. Lisa B. Marshall (http://www.lisabmarshall.com/) spoke about the 6 principles of influence. The one I was thinking about was reciprocity. I was enjoying the delicious leftovers from my dinner last night (http://www.landolakes.com/recipe/4174/slow-cooker-korean-bbq-beef-tacos) developed by my friend Amber Hanson. They were even better today, and I was marveling how companies like Land O’Lakes employ amazing people like Amber to develop free recipes for their products for you to enjoy. This demonstrated one of the principles Lisa talked about- reciprocity. She encouraged us to be givers. She said that research showed that givers rose to the top. But these givers set things up smartly. They tended to naturally frame their giving in partnerships. Land O’Lakes doesn’t hire Amber to develop recipes willy nilly. The recipes must use their products.

Other principles of influence include: similarity- we like those who are like us, authority- a tendency to defer to experts, consensus- going with the group opinion, consistency- we like to remain true to what we’ve said we will do, and scarcity- we place a high value on things that are rare. The first three remind me of advice that my mother gave me that has stuck with me for life.

When I was a very little girl, I was auditioning for a play and my mother said: Smile, Talk Loud, and Listen. I repeated it over and over, and it has become like a mantra. Lisa said an authentic smile was the #1 way to get people to like you. I have always been known for my cheerful disposition. Whether it was natural, and I would have this smile no matter what, or whether it was from this advice, I may never know.

Talk Loud. I don’t have the data to back it up, but I would bet that people grant more authority to those with louder voices, and I was going to say- now you may not need to talk as loud as a Bakke, but then I remembered that the loudest Bakke was voted Homecoming King, so who knows?

Listen. Lisa said that listening can be a great way to find out areas of similarity in order to persuade and influence people. I definitely know that to be true in my life. When you truly listen to someone, you understand their motivation and uncover common ground. You may shift your tactics and strategies, or they may even convince you to change your mind. But even if no one changes, often just listening is enough. People are sometimes starved for someone to slow down and hear them. I have been very fortunate to have twice heard Elizabeth Dickinson (http://pursueyourpath.com/contact/) speak about the power of active listening and strategies to improve your listening skills. I would encourage you to contact her, if you think your workplace could benefit from an environment where people are more open to hearing each other’s ideas (Hint- it can). She also, coincidentally, just custom developed a course on what else- the 6 principles of influence to present for us at Land O’Lakes. This was a helpful infographic that she shared with us.

Lisa offered us another bit of advice that would have been too much for my shy Norwegian American mother, and that was to give sincere compliments. As a highly enthusiastic person (I get that from my father), I am always noticing things that I don’t just like but that I LOVE. I used to be afraid that if I noted my enthusiasm aloud I would seem strange or insincere, but I decided to set those fears aside. Well, Lisa said insincere compliments work just as well as sincere ones, so I guess I didn’t need to be afraid in the first place. Not that either of us are advocating insincere compliments!

Giving compliments has another benefit besides just making people like you, it has opened up so many interesting conversations for me. I tend to notice people’s jewelry and handmade items, since those are items I also love. Recently I complimented a new coworkers necklace only to find out it was a gift picked out days before her son was tragically killed in a car accident. I could tell the compliment deeply touched her. I also found out all about a woman’s ‘dream to be a carnie’ (yes, really!) all because of a compliment. A ‘very fine mug’ just mentioned in passing had been made by a man’s daughter. An SSP attendee’s beautiful handbag had been made by her neighbor. And outside of my normal sphere of compliments but, sincere nonetheless, Barbara Booth was so delighted to hear that I absolutely love McDonald’s and all that they get SO right. So put that positive energy out into the world. A compliment shared brings a smile to two faces.