Those who have known me for awhile know that I was a huge Harry Potter fan. I pretty much left that bit of my life behind after the 7th book, but it was a big part of my life. A favorite memory is still traveling with John and Tim to Naperville, Illinois for the biggest book release party in the world. I had a memory of that time pop into my head recently. I guess I should say if haven’t read the 7th book and you don’t want to be spoiled a decade after it came out, stop reading. 🙂 Very early in the 7th book a chapter ends, and it seems very much like Hagrid died. I immediately started weeping and had to stop reading for awhile, because I was so upset. When I came back to read and turned the page, I found out that he did not actually die. I’ve been holding that memory, because sometimes you just need to turn the page to find out that things are not at all what they seem. Hagrid might live.

I’ve been reading a lot about anxiety, since Axes has been struggling with it this year. And all the advice is very helpful for me too. I’ve been treating my generalized anxiety disorder since my graduate school days- so quite awhile. 🙂 But I forget the advice all the time. People with anxiety focus on the negative and worrisome and discount the good. Now I know that there are people who won’t see this side of me, because the face I present is the side of me that works so hard to focus on the positive. And that is definitely what I try to do for others. But there is the voice inside. And that voice inside is a drama queen. She thinks every day is doomsday. Loves to get stuck on little details. To turn molehills into mountains. And she is tricky. You find one way to deal with her, and she tries something new. I named her Annie Xannie once. She is a part of me. And the best way to deal with her is to just let her do her thing. She really wants to be in control. Oh boy does she love control. The funny thing is, she cares a lot more about being in control than what is actually happening. I pick a word or phrase to focus on each year. This year’s phrase is ‘Fix nothing.’ So Annie Xannie, I’m not going to fix you. I’m just going to let you do your thing. But I’m going to do my thing too. Turn the page and see what happens. And I kind of don’t care what you think about that.