Recently there has been much attention brought to hatred and violence in the world. I would like to pen a post about recent events, but I am compelled to post today about self hatred and violence.

This morning I received the annual survey that I get as a member of the National Weight Control Registry. I was filled with dread and self loathing, because I have gained weight. But thankfully I had the foresight to stop myself. Very few people qualify to be a member of the NWCR. You need to lose 40 pounds or more and keep it off for a year or more.

Yes, I have gained weight. But you know what? The thing I should be feeling is pride and self compassion. Pride that I am still 50 pounds lighter than when I got pregnant with Axes. Pride that I fight every day to make better choices and live a healthy life. And I should practice understanding and self compassion with myself. During the time I have been gaining weight, I have considered and ultimately chose to change careers in a pretty drastic way. I have moved 1,000 miles away from the only place I have every lived and from the only people I knew until recently. I made the most difficult choice I have ever had to make by leaving a relationship with a person that I loved with my entire heart. I would never judge a friend for gaining some weight (even a substantial amount) during all that.

And when I practice understanding and self compassion with myself, it is easier to make the choices that are best for me. And it is easier to feel grateful for all the amazing things that have happened to me during the past two years, all the wonderful people I have met, and my continued relationships with friends old and new. And when I feel grateful, it is easier to feel good and make the choices that are best for me and best for the world.

I share these words not to pat myself on the back, but to share the message that we need to be kinder to ourselves. That when we are kinder to ourselves, we live better lives. And when we are kinder to ourselves, we are kinder to others. And so in all these calls for action, I guess I think maybe start by being kind to yourself.